How many times have we avoided talking about something that is sitting inside of us because we feel that it makes us look weak?  How many times have we avoided addressing something that has to be addressed, with ourselves or other, simply because once we say it out loud it becomes real?  That second one resonates with me a lot because I can think of clear instances in which I have operated with that much fear. So much fear that I can’t even talk about an issue out loud because then it would mean that I have to deal with it; but mostly, accept my own responsibility in it.

For a very long time we have lived in a society in which the avoidance of any emotional process is accepted, almost expected, due to the skewed definition of success and well-being.  If you’re part of the corporate world, for instance, crying in your office or cubicle because an important relationship ended isn’t seen as appropriate. So what do you do? You go to the bathroom, take several deep breathes and go about your day as if nothing is turning inside.  What happens when we do that is that we get so good at hindering our own emotional process, that not only do we do it at work, but we begin to do it in private – it becomes a habit. I mean, why not? If you didn’t have a breakdown at work, then there’s no need to have a breakdown at home and ruin your weekend plans. But sometimes, an event, physical or energetic, like a full moon in Scorpio, will come along and puncture a whole in our emotion water balloon and force everything to come out. Everything. All of a sudden the breakdown isn’t just about the relationship that ended, it’s about how fat you looked in that dress that one time, it’s about your friend not calling you back, it’s about your rocky relationship with your mother.  I know that these examples may seem silly, but it’s me communicating to you how we can build up so much over time, that when our soul has finally had enough, everything comes out.

First off, if everything comes out in that manner, then so be it; it’s better than not. But, secondly, it doesn’t have to happen that way. Not because of any judgment we may have about having a meltdown, but because if we practice honoring what we feel, simply by observing with compassion, we can train ourselves to be constantly aware of our internal process. Not by trying to immediately fix it or mask it with an affirmation, but to truly see it without judgment.  That is what I call true self-love.  Honoring ourselves enough not to ignore ourselves or pretend that a part of us doesn’t exist.  Think about it.  Have you ever been in a relationship where all you hope for is for someone who listens, without judgment, when you’re going through something? And when we’re not in that kind of relationship, it hurts. So, how can we do that to ourselves? How can we continue to be so good at avoiding our internal process when so much within us is screaming to be heard.

On Sunday, April 29th we will have the full moon in Scorpio which urges us to go deep within and accept what is there.  The energy of this full moon is backed by other alignments that are also heavy with Scorpio energy. Mars and Pluto in Capricorn (both planets rule Scorpio) are conjunct (sitting next to each other, per se), and together they sextile (have a good conversation) with Jupiter retrograde in Scorpio. What does this mean? It’s important to remember that not all retrograde energy is created equal.  Jupiter and Scorpio and currently retrograde and this energy doesn’t translate into Mercury retrograde.  Let’s break it down: Mars energy represents our individual inner drive to do something in our physical world; Pluto represents the emotional, psychological and karmic drive to fulfill something in this lifetime (the reason for reincarnation); and having Jupiter retrograde in Scorpio (connected to Pluto) allows us to expand and delved into our process in order to transform ourselves or a situation.  The full moon alone doesn’t do all of this.  The retrograde planets play a huge role in slowing down our pace so that we can go within and recuperating that which we thought we had lost.  This can manifest in terms of finances or business deals (all Scorpio energy), but it can also be the opportunity to recuperate the certainty of our inner strength.

Acknowledging that we have neglected our internal process over the years doesn’t automatically mean that we will always be aware moving forward.  That type of awareness takes practice.  So 5-6 months of multiple planets being retrograde, with a lot of Scorpio energy, can assist in getting started, but this doesn’t mean that you will be “all good” after 5-6 months (I believe that constant awareness is a lifelong job).  Yet, we do have the energy available to backing us up to become initially aware.  The full moon does its job of bringing everything to the surface (full moons are emotional events) and in Scorpio, some revelations will be hard to ignore.  You might be feeling something already, as full moons have a buildup period, then the event comes, and then things begin to make a little more sense.  This is why the days following a full moon (until the next new moon), we have a window of cosmic opportunity to work with the energy brought by this event.

Below is the link to this week’s blog post, which extends on this energy. And if you check out my Instagram posts I also discuss the energy of the week.  I will always remind you that cosmic energy and events aren’t about individual events. Everything going on in the sky plays a role and it all happens over time (that why they’re called transits). So, read up and see for yourself how you’re feeling everything that is going on.